Sunday, December 9, 2012



 "My Dice!" - Borat

Tagged under "timely references".

Baldy

This little area in Baldy feels like Middle Earth sorta. That is all.



Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Detachment

I am a HUGE fan of inspirational teacher movies. Even bad ones. Especially bad ones. On Netflix I came across a delightful sounding movie starring Adrian Brody called Detachment. Normally someone says Adrian Brody and I'm auto-in. So when I read the description I was double auto-in:

"When a substitute teacher takes a new assignment at an inner-city school, he finds himself becoming involved in the lives of his colleagues and students. At home, he houses a young prostitute and meditates on what happened to his mother."

Omg, so in! He makes a difference at school and at home? Yes! Plus he sounds like he's totally srs and broods about in moody lighting. Totally! Also inner-city schools really highlight the differences between middle and lower classes. Like Amazing Panda Adventure did for rich and poor pandas. You really learn a lot of truth.

Plus the title of the movie looks hand-written on the cover, which is usually how I know if it is an indie movie and it will be good.

So I snuggled on the couch with my embroidery and cats and vodka and watched Detachment.

NO. Just NO! It is not heartwarming. It is depressing as EFF. AS EFF. Do not watch it if you are sad even if it is only a little sad. The teachers are losing their minds, and not in a hijinksy way. And I'm not going to spoil but one person you're like "yeah girl" is like D:. I did that face IRL.

It's not a bad movie. I think Maria and I would have been like yeah if we'd seen it at the Laemmle Art-house. But I think you have to be prepared to watch. And not sad at all.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Embroidered Lamp Shade tutorial

"OMG, the lampshade is so stupid. I think I will just throw it away!"

How many times have you heard that? Well stop throwing away your lampshades. You can actually spruce it up! There is this thing called "D.I.Y." which means Do It Yourself! And you can! All you need to be a true DIYer is an idea, some money, and a handful of smiles!

Please enjoy my tutorial. You'll note my skill and finesse in taking clear photos that really shows you what to do every step of the way. This method is for embroidering directly onto the lampshade. A lot of other tutorials want you to like take apart the shade, measure some fabric, stitch on the fabric, omg I'm so bored. Who has time for that?

Step one:
Ugh, think about what design you want to use to decorate that ugly stupid boring lampshade. I chose a paper crane from Urban Threads. Now print it out the size you want it. Print it out in multiple sizes if you want to throw caution to the wind, you rebel.

Step two:
Now tape the design INSIDE the lampshade. You'll note the skillful way in which I cut out the design:

Step three:
Take a water soluble fabric marker (this will work) and trace the design on the outside of the lampshade. If you make a mistake it's ok because you'll be able to dissolve the ink with some cool water. You'll note my fine attention to making straight lines:


Step four:
This can go a couple ways. If you have thumbs of steel or your lampshade is just made out of something stupid thin, you can just go ahead and start stitching it up and you are done. But that's dumb. So what you will actually do is poke holes using a push-pin or paper-piercer all along the design. I poked from the outside in, because you'll get that bit of plastic sticking out from the exit wound. So if you push from the front the exit wound will be on the inside and make this whole thing less ugly.

How far apart you place the holes is up to you - it really depends on how big you want the stitches to be. Because I am a rogue with a devil-may-care attitude, the holes I poked are varying distances apart.


Step five:
Stitch! I used a simple back stitch on the whole thing. I also don't care about "traveling threads" too much, but obviously you may want to depending on your design since you'll be able to see through the shade with the light on. The crane design is a little more forgiving for that though.

Step six:
Once you have stitched everything, go ahead and put it on your lamp! Now notice that you actually did everything upside down and now you can't put it on the lamp you wanted to. True story, bro. Measure once, cut twice!

Oh no, traveling threads! Also that dark gray streak is from when accidentally dented it because I can't have nice things. I was cautious not to make it worse when piercing and stitching. So there was that at least.



Clearly not the right shade for this lamp because the base is huge. The drum shade was supposed to go on a little tripod lamp.

Both sides.


A+++ would try again!



Monday, December 3, 2012

Toy cameras

My dad is really into photography, so I decided to make him a camera-themed shadowbox for Father's Day this year. Of course I didn't take a picture of it, that would make too much sense.

I briefly thought about using one of my old thrift store cameras to put in the shadow box, but it was a bit too big. Then I figured that I'd make one from scratch because I like to pretend I'm like other people.

Tim Holtz has great shadowboxes with removable compartments. Since I wasn't using the extras in this project, I took one of the most camera-shaped ones and used that for the base. I used a wooden heart for the lens, and then used some of the grunge paper pieces for the flash. I inked each piece, and used
Rock Candy Distressed Crackle Paint, which is really rad because it dries clear so it is like you are looking into a beautiful lagoon of full of dreams. Way better than any other distressing/crackling paint I've used.

I used vintage buttons for the film winder and viewer window. It is ok to consider all buttons vintage if you don't know the origin. You are probably correct, but if you are not no one will know. So that's cool.

I loved how the camera came out so when I got back from vacay I made a bunch more. Here is a convenient Etsy link so you can purchase one for all decorating needs. The one below is my fav, but not so much my fav that I wouldn't sell it. I'm not dumb.



2012.

I forget what happened this year. I feel like a lot. I quit my job and moved into a house and went camping and Angie had the first collective We Care Posse baby. Also first year of marriage and all that. That's a lot of stuff, right?

I thought a lot of things would be better, but I also don't think I've done as much as I need to in order to make things better. That's vague.

But this blog is not about that! This blog is about being a willowy manic pixie dream girl who calls her husband "hubby" and talks about how "ah-mah-zing" things are, right? You know, like all the other craft blogs. Also I just made myself cringe by typing "hubby" and "ah-mah-zing".

Actually it's really hard for me to keep positive and non-cynical about a lot of things. I have boundless enthusiasm for things I feel are genuine. But as soon as I detect something is less than 100% REAL, I can't help but feel contemptuous. I just think "what are you hiding?" I know people don't want to always remember bad things, and they are under no obligation to write about it. But people often put up this pretense of how "real" they are in their blogs or Facebook, and I know a big huge chunk of this "realness" is missing. I mean it seriously can't always be kittens and sunshine, no matter how "blessed" you are. And it sucks because maybe the person doesn't deserve my disdain, but they get it anyway! Haha!

But FYI, it's totally OK to mention things are less than perfect, I promise. It's also OK to not share everything.

Now I'm doing something else I hate, which is when a blogger tells the reader what they need to do. So, cool!

But really, I'll get on with it.

Chris and I at Aaron and Sandra's wedding in October. OMG so happy squee! OMGOMG